What have I done?
by Heidi13
Summary: Just my version of Sonny reading something that Will didn't intend for him to read. Disclaimer: Characters in this story are property of NBC and Days of our Lives. I own nothing.
1. Chapter 1

Will has never been very good with words or expressing how he feels. But Sonny never cared. He could just look Will in the eyes and read his soul. That's one of the things that he loved most about Sonny. He knew Will better than he knew myself. And that's possibly what he misses most. Sonny always saw the best in Will, even when Will couldn't. He made Will a better person. Less selfish. Sonny is the most selfless guy he knew. And he taught Will how to love himself by how Sonny loved him.

Will decided to sit down and write his feelings out. Not for anyone to see, but for Will to sort through everything that is going through his head.

_My life never really began until Sonny walked in. He made me realize just what I have been missing. He stuck by me through everything, I have never experienced that before. He gave me a sense of unconditional love. A love that made me realize how lonely my life was up to that point. Being with him made me feel things I didn't think was possible. I never felt more alive than when I was in his arms. The love I could see in his eyes let me know that the feeling was mutual. He is the most amazing person with the most amazing heart. I realize now how lucky I am that he was in my life. And that he chose to love me back. He chose me. He could've had anyone, but he chose me. How does someone that amazing choose someone like me?_

_But I ruined it. I ended us before we even started. The thing is, I did everything because of him. I was so scared of losing the best thing that ever happened to me. That I held on too tight and I let everything slip through my fingers. I know I don't deserve him. He deserves so much better than me. And I proved to him why he shouldn't love me. And now I know he doesn't anymore. I have no one else to blame but myself. _

_I would be lying if I didn't say that I cry myself to sleep every night. And every morning I reach out for him only to realize he is not next to me. He will never be next to me again. And that is something I have to learn to live with, I guess. Unless by some miracle the love of my life decides to forgive me. Even though, I know I don't deserve it. He should be with someone like Brian. Someone that can love him and won't hurt him, like I always inevitably do. _

_The searing pain I felt when I saw them together is something I have never felt before. Then hearing they had sex. I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest and stomped on repeatedly. I was jealous that he was able to comfort Sonny when I couldn't. I hated that I pushed Sonny into another man's arms. And it killed me that Sonny could find comfort in another man. I felt like I meant nothing to him. He could move to another man's bed so easily and not even think of me. Not even look back on what we had. _

_My heart is still in shatters. And I don't know how to pick up the pieces. Sonny always helped with that. He is my best friend. How am I supposed to navigate my life without him next to me? He has been my rock for the last year._

_But I need to pick the pieces up and move forward. My daughter will be here before I know it. As much as I want Sonny by my side through it all, I have to accept that he doesn't want that. He doesn't want to be a part of mine or my daughter's future. As much as that thought alone kills me, I have to move forward. I will never stop loving Sonny. I will never stop wanting him by my side. But that's not what he wants anymore. He doesn't want to be in my life anymore. He doesn't love me anymore. And I have to accept that I have to face my daunting future alone. Without the one person who I want by my side. Without the one person I have truly loved with every part of me. Without the one person that completes me. I have to face it alone. I brought this on myself and I don't blame him for hating me. I would hate me if I were him. _

_All I know is I can never stop loving Sonny. He is a part of me. He carries my heart with him everywhere he goes. And I feel like a shell of a person without him. I feel empty and incomplete without him. I can only hope someday he can forgive me for all the pain I have caused him. And maybe, one day, he will understand that I did this all for him. That I loved him enough that I was willing to let a felon raise my child. That I was willing to sacrifice everything for him. His love has made me selfless. His love has changed me forever. I will never find another love like that for as long as I live. And I will forever live with the regret that I let this amazing man slip through my fingers. No one will ever be able to replace him in my heart. My love for Sonny is forever. Nothing can ever change that._

Will puts his pen down. Tears stain the paper he is writing on. He looks up from his seat in the coffeehouse. He has the perfect view of Sonny from here. Looking at him makes his heart break a little bit more. He stuffs the papers into his coat pocket and gets up to leave. Will doesn't realize that the paper never makes it in his pocket. It falls to the floor, by the chair he was sitting at.

* * *

Sonny sees Will walk out of the coffeehouse rubbing his eyes. _He must be crying again._ Knowing this tears at Sonny's heart. But he still can't forget all that has transpired in the last month. He notices a wadded up piece of paper next to the chair Will was sitting at. Sonny contemplates going over to see what Will left behind. Will had been writing with ferocity, Sonny wanted to know what could have inspired so much passion.

Sonny picks the piece of paper up off the floor and uncrumpled it. He sees his name on the page. He fights the urge to throw it away. He takes it back to his office and decides to sit down to read it.

The first line catches Sonny off guard. His eyes scan the words. Each sentence knocking the wind out of him a little bit more. He never knew this was how Will felt. But again, he never asked. Sonny can feel the tears streaming down his face. He is having trouble catching his breath. The last words feel like a knife to his heart.

_My love for Sonny is forever. Nothing can ever change that._

Those words ring in Sonny's ear. He never let himself give in to the pain of losing Will until now. He stands up to go lock the door to his office. Then crumbles to the floor. His body shaking with sobs. Finally letting himself feel it. Finally allowing himself to truly miss Will. Finally allowing himself to feel his love for Will consume him.

"What have I done?" Sonny whispers to himself, sobbing on the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

**I really had no plans on continuing this story. But I received a lot of messages about more chapters. So here is a more complete ending for you all! :) Thanks for such positive reviews!**

* * *

"You want to tell me what the hell this is all about?" Sonny angrily throws the letter Will wrote at him.

"Uh...hey Sonny," Will says, confused.

Will picks up the paper and his eyes widen. He looks up at Sonny, nervously and whispers, "You weren't supposed to see this. Where did you find it?"

"You left it at the coffeehouse," Sonny seethes.

"Left it?" Will asks, confused. "This wasn't for you. You weren't supposed..."

"How could you, Will?" Sonny says, softly.

"How could I what?"

"How can you write these things, but tell me you want to be friends? And give my key back? Tell me to move on?"

"Because you can't forgive me, Sonny!" Will exclaims. "You moved on with Brian. You don't want me or love me anymore. I was just trying to do what's best for you!"

"That's not fair, Will," Sonny sighs.

"How is letting you go not fair? Letting you move on?"

"You can't say these things and expect me to stay mad at you! And I want to hate you for lying to me. But I can't."

Will looks up at Sonny, hopeful. "What are you saying?"

"God, Will," Sonny cries out. "I want to be mad at you. I want to say I can't forgive you. I want to hate you for lying and hurting me. You made me feel the worst I have ever felt."

Sonny stops himself from continuing, trying to control himself. All he sees is fear and hurt in Will's eyes. Will whispers, "Sonny, I'm so sorry. I never wanted this for you. You are the last person I would ever want to hurt. I love you so much."

"I know, Will. Why do you think this is so hard? I can't not love you. I can't not want you next to me every day. For the rest of our lives. I can't stay mad at you, as much as I want to. I could never see you in the arms of another man. You belong in my arms, forever. But what hurts the most now is not being with you through everything."

"And Brian?"

"What about him?" Sonny asks, confused.

"I know, Sonny." Will looks at Sonny, sadly.

"You know what?"

"That you are together!" Will yells out.

Sonny shakes his head and says,"We were never together."

Will's eyes blaze. "Don't lie to me Sonny. I saw you with him! How could you possibly say you aren't together? Seeing you with him kills me. But if he makes you happy, that's all I want for you. You deserve someone better than me. Better than this."

Sonny grabs Will's face, so they are looking each other in the eyes. "Don't you get it, Will? It's you that makes me happy! When I imagine my life, it's always with you. Next to me. Forever."

"But you can't forgive me," Will states, sadly.

"Will! You aren't listening to me. I don't want anyone, but you. You are my forever."

Sonny pulls Will's lips to his. Holding on to him for dear life. Then Sonny pulls back and says, breathlessly, "My life changed the second you walked in. You changed me. You showed me what I've been missing. You showed me what I've been searching for and I didn't even realize I was searching."

"Are you saying you forgive me?" Will says, incredulously.

Sonny laughs at Wills words. "Yes! That's what I'm trying to say. I need you. You have a part of me that I can never have back."

"Sonny," Will sobs. "I love you so much. And I have missed you more than I ever missed anything. You make me feel whole. You make me feel like I finally belong somewhere. And when I am in your arms, I've never felt safer. But the baby..."

"Will, there is so much we have to figure out. And I want to figure it all out. Together. It won't be easy. But I believe in us. I believe in our love."

Sonny grabs Will's hand and squeezes. "When you love someone, sometimes you have to fight like to hell to make it through everything life throws at you. And we are worth the fight."

"No, Sonny. You are worth fighting for. I want to spend the rest of my life proving to you that I am good enough. That our love can beat the odds. But first, can I ask you something?"

Sonny nods his head. "Sure. What is it?"

"Do you think I can have my key back? That is, if you still want me to live with you."

Sonny closes his eyes and shakes his head. Then he opens his eyes and looks at Will. Sadness present in his eyes. Sonny smiles at Will and says, "I thought you would never ask."

Sonny pulls the key out of his pocket and places it in Will's palm. "Are you ready to go home?" Sonny asks.

Will smiles and nods his head. He closes his fist tightly around the key. The two boys walk home, hand in hand. Ready to begin their next chapter. But first, they need to make up for lost time.


	3. Chapter 3

**I was done with this story, but a got some requests to have a smutty reunion conclusion. So, I decided to make an attempt. This is my first time ever writing smut, so please forgive me if this is just horrible! I was inspired by some of the smut I have read on here and #TeamHorny on twitter! I hope you like this and that I did our boys justice with this conclusion!**

* * *

All I feel is hands. His hands. Exploring my body. Touching me, like I've never been touched before. His smooth hands. I've missed those hands. Their velvety touch on my skin. They make me cry out for more. I need more.

He starts with a soft kiss against the door that gets more aggressive. His tongue is licking my bottom lip begging for an entrance. I willingly oblige. Allowing our tongues to dance together. I moan into his mouth and my legs are getting weak. He always makes my knees go weak.

"Key. Inside. Now." I moan out.

He wrestles with his keys to his apartment, releasing my lips momentarily. I groan out, missing the sensation of his lips on mine. I stumble backwards inside as he thrusts the door open. He throws the keys on his desk and latches back onto my lips. I sigh with relief as he walks me backwards, kicking the door closed.

Our jackets and scarves hit the floor first. He grabs the hem of my shirt and yanks upward, releasing my lips. He tosses it to the ground and softly touches me. His hands cup my face and lightly travel down my neck. His hands glide down my chest until they reach my pants. He gets on his knees and slowly takes off my belt. My breathing is hitching as I feel him unzip my pants and slowly glide them off me. I step out of my pants and reach for Sonny. I need him so much right now.

My hands cup his face trying to coax him to stand. He looks up at me and says "I need this right now."

He slips his fingers inside the waistband of my boxers and slowly pulls them down. I step out of my boxers as I feel him grab my hips. He pushes me gently on the bed. My heart is racing as I allow him to push me back. His hands stay on my hips. I can feel his warm breath on my skin. And I can't breathe. He lightly peppers my skin with soft kisses, as I writhe under his touch. I need more.

"Sonny, please," I beg.

His lips move up my chest until he reaches my neck. He stops to suck on the base of my neck. My hands reach down and grab the hem of his shirt. I need to feel all of him right now. Sonny's lips detach from my skin long enough to get his shirt off. I roll him off me and straddle his body. Sonny's big brown eyes are staring back at me with want. I lean down and place my lips on his. A groan escaping my lips. My hands are reaching for his pants. I need them off now.

I yank his belt off and unzip his pants, wasting no time. Sonny groans into my mouth as I pull down his pants, releasing him. He kicks off his pants as I rip off his boxers. I can feel his erection against my skin. I have missed the hardness of him so much. I am desperate to feel him inside of me.

I break apart our lips and hear Sonny groan. "Sonny," I whisper, my voice heavy from want. "Now. I need you now."

He begins to reach over to the nightstand. But I grab his arm and shake my head no. I want to feel all of him inside me. I need to feel him and only him. He rolls me on to my back. I scoot myself up towards the headboard, placing my feet firmly against the bed. I open my legs for him and he kneels between them. He looks down at me and places a gentle kiss on my lips. I lace my fingers with his. His eyes are speaking words of love. He doesn't have to say anything, because it consumes every part of me.

He whispers, "Are you sure?" I nod my head enthusiastically.

"Now. Need you now."

He slowly enters me. It hurts. Oh man, does it hurt. I feel tears spring to my eyes in pain. But I know it is only momentarily. He stops, waiting for my body to adjust. I nod my head when I am ready to continue. This happens until he is all the way in. I wrap my legs around his waist as he pulls out.

I raise my hips as he begins thrusting, allowing easier access to hit my spot. And he gets it every single time. The thrust begin slow and increase with velocity. I squeeze his hands a little harder with each thrust.

The intensity is building. Everything has faded away. All that I know is this beautiful man is with me. Looking at me with love in his eyes. Kissing me with tenderness. My body cradling him. I feel more alive than I ever remember. I feel every sensation. His breath on my skin. His hands interlaced with mine. Feeling him inside of me. I scream out his name as my body reaches its peak. I close my eyes and I hear his voice. I feel his touch. I am falling into him. I never want this to end. I never want this feeling to stop.

My breathing picks up speed. I am holding on to Sonny for dear life. I hear him groan out my name as his body goes slack on to mine. His warmth invades. His breath is on my neck as he breathes heavily on to me. I release my hands from his grip and place them on his back. Holding on to him. I feel the dampness of him on my hands as I rub his back. His breathing begins to slow down.

"I love you so much," I whisper in his ear. His head is snuggled into my neck. I can feel him smile and whisper, "I love you too, baby."

"I've missed you so much it hurts," I whisper back.

He rolls on to his side as he pulls out of me and I whimper. A part of me now feels empty. I miss the feeling of him inside of me. He intertwines our legs together and grabs my hand. He pulls it up to his lips and kisses them.

"I know. I never want to spend another night without you next to me."

He rests his head on my chest and my fingers instinctively brush through his hair. I didn't realize just how much I missed being with this man until now. He makes me calm. He makes me sane. He makes me feel safer than I have ever felt in my entire life just by loving me.

"Sonny, I'm so sorry."

"Shhh, Will. Not now. We can talk about everything later. Right now, this is about us. Nothing else."

"You're so amazing. You know that, right?"

He turns my face towards him. He has a playful smile and brings his lips to mine. "How about we get in the shower and clean ourselves up?"

I smile at him and whisper, "I love you so much. You're the best thing that could ever happen to me."

I sit up and grab his hand, pulling him up. "Well, what are we waiting for. Let's continue this in the shower."

Sonny's face lights up with a smile and pulls me towards the bathroom. "I have a very good feeling that we aren't going to be sleeping much this weekend."

I look him in the eyes and whisper, "Not if I have anything to say about it."


End file.
